Also...I am now writing a poem of all the good things I can remember about my childhood with just a hint of the bad underneath mentioned. Will post that soon after I refine it.
First, a description: Four. The first, a dinosaur, an allosaurus I believe, with a green house gripped in its mighty jaws and wearing blue and white striped shorts. Second, a glow in the dark frog, suitable for filling with water and squirting at people. Third, a yellow cheering creature I know is Pokemon. Fourth, a black and white spotted dog, howling at the moon.
Second, an interpretation. The house belongs to an old English gentleman named Allistaire Rhys Brien. He was smoking his pipe one evening by a roaring fire when some big teeth poked through his window and uprooted the whole thing, parlour and all. “Goodness gracious me,” he huffed, and went back to his pipe. The frog, the Pokemon effigy, and the dog took one look and went back to their respective occupations; squirting, cheering and baying at the moon, respectively.
That is all.
A good friend of my son's just set himself on fire inside his locked car. I didn't know him personally, but my son says he was a hard worker and one of the best car salesman in the business, and a loving father. I have met him a couple of times, and he was a beautiful, gorgeous man, who radiated kindness. My son says there were over 250 people at his memorial gathering. All who write of him or talk of him tell of his magical personality and how he lit up any room he was in. Brad Burnett was a truly great artist, and created a beautiful picture, of which I am sure he is so thrilled to be aware of now, as he rests safely in the loving and all-forgiving hands of the Creative Force of the Universe. I hope his loved ones can take solace in this.
In Bhutan, they have a Minister of Happiness who cares for all citizens and their individual states of mind, so Michael Fox tells us. Denmark is known as one of the happiest countries, because they don't expect any thing like the American Dream. They ask for little, just some life comforts, and so they are satisfied with just that. They are happy! Wouldn't it be grand for all of us to remind each other often of how wonderful each and every one of us is? Virtue attaineth, and nothing else attains anything at all. We may make mistakes to find the raw stuff of virtue, but even those mistakes have major virtue in that they are valuable stepping stones, the darker rich hues of the pictures we paint with our lives.
I had tea and breakfast in bed with baby Gannon and our cat Gorsch, reading a book as per usual, when the tea spilled. Glenn came running in when he heard me shout and, picked up Gorsch and rubbed her back and forth in the pool of tea and blankets. I was stunned! "What the hell are you doing?” I shouted. Gorsch had worked free, growling and hissing as she ran off. He said, "The cat peed in the bed!" Poor kitty!
I got off the plane and took a cab to the apartment she shared with other stewardesses. A motley bunch, a bit shallow and unfriendly, but, Hey, it was a place to start. I had $350 to my name. They hooked me up with some old creepy rich guy who hung with notables. He chaperoned mini-skirted-sexy-sweet me to a party my second night there. All the flying females were in the air, and I was the only girl available. We drove for a long time through alien, scary city streets to a penthouse on Biscayne Blvd. in down town Miami. There were high society sorts in flashy mod clothes, mini skirts, jewels and Lulu, the actress from "To Sir With Love" was there, a lavish split level living room, with full length windows facing the bay. Culture shocked, I managed to compose myself as I meandered about on very shaky legs, one sleazy guy after another, and some real hotties of both sexes approaching me and flirting, for I was obviously on the sexual menu. The night wore on and I wondered how I would ever get back to the apartment. There was a huge over-decorated condo down the hall shown to me, and offered, but only if I wanted my very own sugar daddy along with it. I was given three choices for that most inauspicious position. I didn't take the offers, wondered about the attached parking garage freaked and lost as the party broke up, until one 40ish garish slime ball took pity on my obvious state of disorientation and rejection (I had not panned-out appropriately), deposited me in his car, and drove me back to fly girl bizarre world in the early morning light, not without trying to feel up my thigh as he drove, in one last attempt to unfreeze the ice burg. I was shedding my little girl naiveté fast.
The fun didn't stop there. I found myself on a huge white yacht within the next week, being wined and dined with other pretty young things, all of us in bikinis, by a dozen or so 80 to 90 year old Mafioso types. Then onto Miami beach clubbing it with my new roommate, where I continued to be on the menu. There were gatherings in our apartment of professional mafia card sharks (my roommate's man was a dear, sweet card shark from Chicago), just back from big games throwing thousands of dollars in cash about on the floor just for fun, heartless parties at our single's club apartment in South Miami...and many more bizarre experiences too numerous and tedious to mention happening along the way. I had an affair with a sports-car-driving, sexy, college bound Cuban, who returned to Miami to try and win me back only after I was pregnant with my first child from my high school beau (who had returned from Viet Nam to make bi-monthly trips to visit me) and ready to exit Miami and it's charms for a stint as an army wife in North Carolina. I might have had higher quality experiences if I hadn't chosen such a ultra-grotesque city, where everyone goes to let their hair down and misbehave. New York or Europe with other artists would have been kinder and possibly more productive. The life choices we make. Throughout all of this my work as a lowly sales girl, then a fashion coordinator at Burdine's kept me in limited funds. What a kick. I had set myself apart, and no longer had easy bonds with the girls in my home town, not that I had ever had many.
Not really...there's plenty of it! If we aren't here on Earth, we'll be elsewhere working on stuff. All is well. Why is it that we humans spend most of our lives trying to secure ourselves against all sadness and tragedy, when they are a big part of what we came here to experience and learn from. You can't paint a picture without shadows and dark deep accents of some sort, or it has no depth. We are afraid, so we try to batten down the hatches, when we should be busy about the business of finding within ourselves the strengths we need to work through the bad times along with the good. Most of modern day business is about securities, how comical really. When we find a cure for one dis-ease we must of course find another to replace it, to maintain the proper level of tension in the picture we are painting. Yet, we beat our heads against the same brick walls time after time. How futile.
We have the drug companies trying desperately to make us paranoid about our bodies, so that we will run to the doctor for all sorts of tests, to secure our health, when there is no such thing. The funds from the drugs and tests they say we need fuel our own slavery to this physical system. We live in such an amazing realm, so full of diversity and lushness, truly a miracle every day! How water, air and the elements combine to create this phantasmagorical Earthly existence that we perceive, magical in essence, yet we get caught up in mundane things, not taking the time to actually see, and certainly never considering how vital it might be to teach our children the same. "Look inside yourselves", all of the holy writings say. That isn't some flowery rhetoric. Just as we can look out into the sky and question what we see and what it is all about, so we can look inward, as the world there is just as big and full of wonderment, and I'm not just talking about molecules and atoms, but about spirit and the places we go during our sleep to recharge for the next day. We discount that, saying it is only dreaming. Yet you would think that since we spend one third of our time there we might consider how very important it must be, that our very physical world depends and springs from it, the spirit world. I have gone there, out of body, and that is not hokuspokus, it's just as real as being awake on the physical Earth. I walked around and felt the walls, the air and the ground with my non-physical senses and remembered it all very well when I snapped back into my body. I talked with those there and they said, "She's visiting, astral projecting" and they talked and laughed with me. I was as alert and aware of myself there as I am here as I type.
Every day I think physical on and off...then say, ooops, I forgot....and pull myself back on track. I create my world with my beliefs, not the other way round, the world creating itself with me an innocent bystander. Be very careful what you think, as the more you think it, you give it energy enough so that it springs into your physical realty. The more you worry about losing your job, the more likely you will be to lose it! There are many mansions inside for us to investigate and delight in. Think on the Australian Aborigines and their dream time beliefs, the ones we haven't had the pleasure of wiping from their mass consciousness yet. We try so hard to get rid of our lost spirit base, by annihilating it in every civilisation we come in contact with. We are afraid of it, our lost connections.
I wonder when string theory and alternate realities will open the doors to our lost abilities, when we will start to find ourselves once again, and quit with the sad games of greed and acquisition we now base our world upon. Seth says until we learn how to time travel every planet we go to will be uninhabited, as we will either get there before or after others like ourselves have been there. He also says we don't need machines to fly. We just think we do, therefore we must make the machines to carry us, when we once roamed freely through this world and others as spontaneously as we breath. The Holy writings predict the end of this age, the world as we know it. Out of the turmoil will come the Golden Age. I hope I live long enough to really see it popping loudly, louder than it is even now with global warming and ice caps melting. It does excite me and make me filled with happiness knowing it to be so. I have had longtime lovers that knew each other, and they told me their biggest mutual complaint about me was that I was too happy! Ha! I Like that.
I have been really wanting a puppy, a tiny dog, so I don't have to pick up giant poop for the rest of my days. Gannon's sweet guinea pig, Pris, passed away last November and now I have no furry little thing to love and be loved by. On the TV show "Sunday Morning" Ben Stein just did a fabulous thing on "Get A Dog" and it played in the background as I work here at my computer. Wow! It's just coming at me from all sides. I am waiting for a puppy to show up at my door, as I know it will be mine to have and hold and keep! He/she will be out in the big world alone and looking for me. Oh, sweet Puppy come to me! Then Ebay, the economy, creepy people and all things crappy about Earthly existence will fall away as I pet my sweet puppy and take it for walks. I have a stuffed dog, Morgan, but he isn't very responsive no matter how much I cuddle him. 
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